CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
Tuesday, 2 May 1944
On Saturday night I asked Peter whether I should tell Father about us. He thinks that I should. I was glad; it means that he’s sensible. As soon as I came downstairs, I went with Father to get some water.
While we were on the stairs I said, ‘Father, when Peter and I are together, we don’t exactly sit at opposite ends of the room. But you’ve probably guessed that. Do you think that’s wrong?’
Father paused for a moment, then answered, ‘No, I don’t think it’s wrong. But Anne, when you’re living so close together as we do, you have to be careful.’
Later, on Sunday morning, he said more to me about it. ‘You must be the one to be careful – it’s the man who always wants to go further. In the outside world, it’s different. You’re free, you see other boys and girls, and you can play sport and do a lot of different things. But here, you see each other every hour of the day. Be careful Anne, and don’t take it too seriously!’
Father says that I shouldn’t go upstairs so often, but I still want to. Yes, I’m going!
Wednesday, 3 May 1944
For the last two weeks, we’ve been eating lunch at eleven-thirty on Saturdays. From tomorrow, it’ll be like that every day. That will be one meal less each day. It’s still very hard to get vegetables. This afternoon we ate some bad cooked lettuce. Add some bad potatoes, and you have a meal fine enough for a king!
I haven’t had my period for more than two months, but it finally started last Sunday. Although it’s a trouble and a mess, I’m glad.
You can imagine we often say, ‘Why are there wars? Why, oh why, can’t people live together peacefully?’
No one can give a really good answer. Why is England making bigger and better aeroplanes and bombs, and at the same time also building new houses? Why do governments give millions each day for war, when they spend nothing on medicine or poor people? Why must people go without food, when there are mountains of food going bad in other parts of the world? Oh, why are people so crazy?
It’s not only governments who make war. No, the common man is guilty too! We give our governments the authority to do it. There’s something in people that makes them murder and kill. Unless all human beings change, there will still be wars.
I’m often sad here, but I still see our life in the Secret Annexe as an adventure. It’s dangerous but exciting. I’ve decided that I want to live a different kind of life, not like other girls, and that I won’t be an ordinary housewife. Living here is an interesting beginning to my life, and that’s why I laugh at the amusing side of it, even when it’s dangerous.
I’m young, and I’m strong, happy and cheerful. I feel that I’m growing up more every day, and that the end of the war is not far away. Nature is still beautiful, and the people around me are good. Every day, I think what an interesting adventure this is! So why be sad or frightened?